Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Brandon: Stupid. But Hilarious.

This is Brandon. The picture was taken a couple years ago, but he looks pretty much the same.
My friends are all weird in their own way. Brandon is stupidly weird. As in, he can't spell anything and often forgets to think. So I've dedicated this post to stupid things he's said either through a Facebook status, a text or a conversation. It's worth noting that Brandon does not usually realize when he says stupid things. And he frequently does not remember saying them. So I'm recording them here so I can look back and thing "Man, I have some fucked up friends!" and I'll always remember that no matter how fucked up anyone else is, at least they're not Brandon.
Brandon - You're awesome in your own way. And this is actually probably why you're my friend. This post is a compliment. And you should be honored. Forever. Seriously, this is probably the nicest thing I’ll ever do for you.

The following sentence fragments are exact (to the best of my knowledge for the spoken ones) quotes from Brandon. This post will be updated frequently. If it's spelled right and in quotations, he has said it in person and probably had no idea what he was saying. And that probably makes it better. Enjoy!

to do list....get off butt, get into car drive the whole 5 min to get food, how long have i been at this list?.....3 hours
sitting watching a terrible movie with bella eating a bone on my lap....oh and coca cola :D
This is enccouraging...my doc office has a dead fish in its fish tank

Life is a lesson, u learn it when ur threw

part of me is saying go to bed...other part is saying dont go to bed hmmm why cant they be arguing about candy, the desicion would be sooo easy!!!

woooooooooo i just sun around and tried to walk, there was a chair in my way

haha y thank +

haha ill gett high and ull seehP

id remember wat it was hahaha

ok ana i am baked and i am texing perfectly!

haha no that was me, i got ajob at valvoline oil change but i quite because there were terible so i came back to mcdys

chilling at home waiting for my dinner to finish cocking.........a watched stove never beeps!!!!!!!!

this kid wont stop fucking whistling, im going to shove his computer down his throat!!!!!!!

dum dum dum!!!!! *cew scary monster*

well my cat has a paper fetish, she was just like going crazy with a receit from wally world

haha they love me:D and its because i had more and now i cant focue for shit!!

haha thersome wat easy:P

hahahaha i have huge boobies:D

hahahaha i had  atwin in elementry school it was crazy:P

“So is there a place in hell for the murderers? And the rapists? And all the retards?”

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