Friday, December 9, 2011

I Couldn't Resist

          Last night I was reading blogs. I was mostly looking at The Bloggess because she has about four blogs and it’s kind of hard to get bored of her.
          And then I found this:

          I’m not sure how I ended up on a sex toy website, but I did. And I found a dildo shaped like a bullet.
          I assume it needed that shape to make your vagina feel badass.
          Everyone wants a badass vagina.

          By the way, I know Christmas is coming up. Do not get me a dildo. I’m not kidding. That would be weird even for me.
          But if you see a strap-on and think “Hee-hee. She never said no strap-ons!” That would be a worse idea for you than for me. Giving me a penis, even a fake one (as opposed to a real one?) would be terrible for the people I know.
          I already hate pants.

          I think I just ruined Christmas.
          Also, the bullet dildo is about $25. That’s apparently cheap for a dildo. Did you know there’s a dildo on the same website that costs $300? I think the one shaped like a bullet is a better deal.
          Ladies, your vagina deserves the pride of feeling badass.
          I love whoever thought of that dildo. Not because I’d use it. I have sex regularly. I don’t need it. But it makes me laugh. I’m probably the only person that finds this funny, though. Anyone reading this is probably disgusted. Sorry, everyone. I probably shouldn't be allowed on the internet.
Happy Holidays!

2 comments:

  1. Well, in my case I'm not allowed to talk anymore, sometimes. Anyway, I like Coheed and Cambria but they never get on the radio. Did you ever hear of Carta Immense? They are my one of my favorite bands I recently found out about. Have a nice weekend!

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  2. I thought that was a pen at first. Maybe it is. Maybe it could be. Which reminds me of this idea. A phone that transforms into a dildo. Set it to vibrate and no one would every catch you with it. Unless you forgot to silence it, then people might ask you why your cooch was singing forlorn ballads. To which you might reply "why wouldn't it?"

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